I've photographed a LOT of wedding speeches. Teary dads, best men with props, maids of honour reading off a phone held together with a hair bobble. The timing makes a massive difference to how they go down.
So here's my hot take: do your speeches before the food. Not after. Before. Here's why!
Everyone's Actually Listening
When speeches happen before the meal, everyone's sat at their table waiting for food. Nobody's nipping to the bar, nobody's sneaking outside for some air, nobody's off finding the loos. They're right there, in the room, ready to laugh in all the right places.
After dinner, people start to wander. Half the room is at the bar and the other half are chatting about the cheese course. That big punchline lands on a room that's only half there.
Nobody's in a Food Coma
Three courses and a few glasses of wine later, everyone gets that warm, cosy, slightly sleepy feeling. Lovely for a nap, not great for an audience. Before the food, everyone's buzzing from the ceremony and the drinks reception, so the energy in the room is miles better. And the reactions? SO much better for photos, yayyy.
Nobody's Had One Too Many
Before dinner, your guests have had a drink or two, enough to be giggly but not enough to start heckling. The same goes for your speakers. Get the speeches out of the way and they can relax and enjoy a drink over dinner, instead of nursing one glass all afternoon or (worse) having a few too many for Dutch courage.
Your Speakers Can Actually Enjoy Their Meal
If you've ever had to give a speech, you'll know the feeling. You sit through a whole three course dinner with your stomach doing somersaults, pushing food round your plate. Speeches first means your dad, your best mate and your partner's sister can say their bit, get the nerves out, and then properly tuck in. Ahh, the relief on their faces is one of my favourite things to photograph!
The Downsides (and How to Get Round Them)
I'm not going to pretend it's perfect. There are two things to watch out for.
Caterers don't love being late. Food that's ready to go out but stuck waiting is a caterer's nightmare. The fix is easy: tell your caterers in advance that speeches are first, so they can time the meal around it. Ask your venue coordinator or toastmaster to give the kitchen a heads up when the last speaker stands up.
Speeches can run on. When people are hungry, a 20 minute best man speech feels like an hour. Give your speakers a time limit (5 to 10 minutes each is plenty) and let them know the food is waiting. Nothing focuses a speaker like a room full of hungry people!
How to Make It Work on the Day
- Tell your caterers and venue early so the timings are built in
- Give every speaker a rough time limit
- Have drinks topped up before the first speaker stands up
- Make sure the lighting in the room is good, so I can get all those lovely reaction shots
- Put your speakers somewhere everyone can see them (and I can get behind them for the crowd shots)
Thinking about your own wedding day timeline? Have a look at my prices or get in touch. I'd love to hear all about your plans, speeches and all!
